To My Children’s Birth Mothers (and Birth Mothers everywhere)


Today’s letter comes from the sweet Vanessa of At The Picket Fence.  

Vanessa is one half of a dynamic sister duo – which is so pleasing to my heart.  One of the most important relationships to me is my sister and  I have two daughters – sisters!   Have you ever interacted with someone who’s kindness comes through in everything they do – even the simplest of emails.  That is Vanessa.  When you read her letter today you will know why.   Her heart is so greatly blessed and she shares it with all of those around her.  Vanessa – thank you so much for sharing your beautiful letter.  You have taken this little idea of The Greatest Gift Project and taken it even beyond its potential.  You are truly a blessing to each and everyone of us.

To my children’s Birth Mothers (and to Birth Mothers everywhere),

It’s been said that children are a gift. And that’s true. Anytime a precious new life comes into this world it is an unbelievable miracle! But, when you have literally been “gifted” your child, the word takes on a whole new meaning. Holding each of our babies for the first time, I realized the magnitude of being entrusted with the incredible job of being on the receiving end of this gift.

In this season of gift-giving, I want to pause and take a moment to express to you both just how grateful we are for these two precious children. Without your loving, selfless sacrifices, I would never have had the joy of becoming a mother or to see my husband as a father. At a time of year when shoppers toss presents into their carts faster than you can say “Rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer”, it’s hard to think about sacrifice.

And yet, I know that while there was joy for us as we embraced our new roles as parents and fell in love with these children, the bittersweet reality was that there was an unimaginable loss on the other end.

My prayer for you both has always been that, even in the pain, there would be peace.

Peace in knowing that we couldn’t possibly love these children any more than we do.

Although, I think that everyday and then I wake up the next morning and love them even more! We take our job as being stewards of these precious gifts very seriously and deeply cherish them.

I used to lie awake at night and wonder what our children would be like. And, I can honestly say that any dreams I had don’t even come close to the wonderful reality of who they are!

I pray too that you will know the One who can bring healing for even the deepest of wounds. He also knows the pain of sacrifice and loss because He gave His only son for the sake of others…for me…for you.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” Psalm 147:3-5

The depth of our gratitude for what you’ve given us cannot be expressed in mere words. It is something I feel every time I look into their sweet faces or marvel at how their little hands fit into mine. It rises up in my soul when we go in at night and tuck their covers around them. Like I did when they were infants, I watch their chests rise and fall with each breath and utter prayers of thankfulness that you chose to honor us with the privilege of being their mommy and daddy.

We are all forever joined together, aren’t we?

It is a mysterious intertwining of lives and hearts and love.

And, I hope you know that we recognize that we were able to receive the gift of our children only because you first gave them the gift of life! The love you showed them is something we remind them of every time we re-tell their adoption stories. They know them by heart now!

And we also remind them of just how much God loves them too and that He gives each of us the opportunity to be adopted into His family.

In love He predestined us to be adopted as his sons/daughters through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will-to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One he loves.” Ephesians 1:5-6

May this truth be more real to you now than ever before.

And may you always know that our thankfulness to you knows no bound!

With love,



  1. Vanessa says:

    Oh, Laura you are so sweet! Thank you for your kind words and for having me here today. It is truly an honor to be part of this amazing project with you! :-)

  2. Lucy says:

    Oh Vanessa …I sit here with tears streaming down my face and I can feel the love you have for your children and the compassion for their birth mothers. You truly do show the light of Jesus….thank you for blessing me today…xo

  3. This is so beautiful Vanessa! What a raw and honest letter. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

  4. Vanessa, this is so beautiful. I literally read it twice and in tears. I read it the second time as though my own birth mother could hear me utter the words… love your heart and how it is so pure and shines through!! Thank you for sharing!! ~ Lori

  5. Vanessa, this is just a beautiful letter. What a gift you have been given and I can see through your words that you cherish it each day. God has chosen you and your husband to be the parents of two beautiful children. What an incredible gift!

  6. Vanessa…thank you for reminding us of the true gifts of the season….You hold the two most precious gifts of your life….The greatest gift bestowed upon me was when my son first called me “Mommy”….Vanessa, you and your husband are also a great gift of your childrens”…..two parents who love their children more than life itself….Beautiful letter Vanessa.

  7. Carol Reddin says:

    Beautifully written, Vanessa. These two children are an amazing gift to us, their grandparents! We love them with the deepest and fullest of hearts!

    Mom and Dad

  8. Vanessa, your kids are beautiful gifts and I know they must feel how much they’re loved! Tearing up now so gotta run – you know I’m not the mushy type!

  9. Marian says:

    Vanessa, what a lovely comparison! Such a beautiful insight to compare a birth mother to The Lord sacrificing His son. Such a kind and wonderful way to look at that situation.


  1. [...] Next, Vanessa is sharing a very precious and special letter to some special women.  You can read more about this over at The Greatest Gift. [...]

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